The Riots — an NLP Perspective

I thought it was early in the day to be showing a film as we sat in the airport awaiting our flight to the US. Then I realised it was not a film but coverage of the rioting that had taken place in the night while we had been travelling quietly from France to the UK. I felt as if we were in a different world and in that moment we effectively were.

I read the subsequent reporting from the other side of the Atlantic — a dissociated stance. Interesting how easy it can be to dissociate despite all the philosophy regarding our interconnectedness. As we went through Dublin customs (we travelled Aer Lingus) the security man commented “You’ve got a bit of a problem in the UK then!!” I recall one of my clients whose likened the disconnected stance being taken by the creative studio in respect of the sales team to someone at at the back of a ship smirking and hand over mouth sniggering, “they’ve got a hole in the front of the boat”!!

There have been so many different debates and theories on the why’s and wherefores of what happened. I hesitated before choosing to include it in this newsletter for that very reason. Our Pakistani taxi driver thought they should be shot in the knees. Some American travellers in the airport commented that if it had been Chicago the rioters would indeed have been shot. Not too much understanding and leniency there then.

I was intrigued by the proposal that the rioters should be questioned to find out ‘Why’ they had acted in the way that they did. I for one have no interest whatsovever in the answer to that question. Surely there is enough intellectualising about the situation and certainly a lot of emphatic suggestions as to what the ‘punishment’ should be.

So what does an NLP perspective bring? …Keep reading

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Promotion for senior citizens—and one of the huge benefits of being over 60?

Fortunately I can think of a few more!! Many of you know that I am studying Awareness through Movement – developed by a remarkable man – Moshe Feldenkrais . This has been described as an elixir for life. I was struck by these words in one of the recent texts on the subject:-

‘No advice is more treacherous than this: “Now that you’re getting older, you ought to slow down a bit”. This is a pathway leading directly to decrepitude. Such advice is not only debilitating; it is deadly. ‘

Somatics Thomas Hanna

What we do now (physically and mentally) is likely to be what we do for the rest of our lives. Does that prospect depress you or inspire you? If the answer is not ‘inspire’ then maybe it is time to think about what you are doing and the habits that you are reinforcing.

On my Business Practitioner programmes attendees are sometimes surprised at the personal slant that I take on teaching and learning. My belief is that if you want a successful business that you need first of all to have a successful life and you need to look after yourself. Healthy body and mind – successful life and work.

‘Serve yourself and you serve the world’

I recently heard someone say “Times are hard”. And indeed in many ways they are. However this person was using it to explain the poor performance of their business. They seemed to have abdicated any personal responsibility for their lack of success. This sort of statement along with many related to age are the kind of beliefs with which we are bombarded every day in the newspapers, on the TV, and from our family and friends (whose intentions may be of the best kind). A delightful gentleman aged 80, who came as a model of excellence to one of my Master Practitioner programmes - a veteran racing cyclist still cycling over 200 miles every week whatever the weather, was being pressured by his relatives to call a halt to his bike racing on the basis that he was getting older and it was time to slow down and take it easy.

And the good news …

The good news is that we can choose what we believe … beliefs aren’t facts; they are emotionally held opinions. However we act on them as if they are fact. And given that we can choose beliefs that move us into a resourceful, fulfilled, vigorous, electric and alive state then why would we choose any different. The results of all the studies that have been done with NLP and with any other study for that matter reveal time and time again what I call Beliefs of Excellence*. And some examples (there are many)

• That nothing is failure – everything is feedback and learning. Eddison believed this in his famous statement when challenged with the hundreds of experimental ‘failures’ to produce a light bulb “I am that much close to finding the solution” And no surprise with a belief like that – he did.

• We already have all the resources we need to achieve what we want. And if we hold that belief not only for ourselves but also for others then we create relationsnhips in which trust and belief in our own and others abilities flourish.

• Mind and Body are one. If you are tense in your thinking you will be tense in your body. Much of the news these days is bad news. And for many people they let bad news create a state of stress and tension. How have you reacted to the news of the ‘world economy’ in this last year? And as John Grinder, one of the founders of the term NLP said “The three demons to personal effectiveness are Inner Noise, Fovial vision and Muscle Tension.” Need I say more?

There are many many more. Easy to read – quite a challenge to live by them and to choose beliefs that work for you rather than those that don’t. As my father in law said to me having read my book NLP at Work – “Very good Sue – and surely all common sense?” Indeed – it is just that common sense is not all that common!

So a personal belief on which to finish this article from the same author with whom I started –

“There is a tendency for life in general and of technological societies in particular to wear down our well being. This is not necessary – as we grow older, our bodies and our lives can continue to improve right up to the very end”

Any doubts about this watch this (and the best bit comes well into the recording – stay with it)

I wrote this article originally for John and Karen Frost founders of The Leadership Trust. Thank you for the permission to reproduce it here.

Mary Kivi—Model of Excellence and So Much More

We might search the world for models of excellence and then realise they are on our own back doorstep. Well Mary was on my side door step. My family home was a semi-detached house – 59 Rudyard Road, Knotty Ash, Liverpool, and Mary Kivi and her family lived at number 57. The Kivis were the other half of the semi .. to the extent that they could hear my Mum and I through the wall when we rowed which happened quite often when I was in my teens. And we could hear Mary or her husband raking the fire which backed on to our fire place of course – the houses were a mirror image of each other. Mary was in number 57 when I was born and she was there when I left home and still there when my Mum died. Mary was a saint. She devoted her life to her family.. dedicating herself to caring for her husband’s learning disabled sister- Elsie - till she died in her seventies. Mary herself was at this time in her eighties. When her grandson went ‘off the rails’ and ran away from his parents’ home she took him in and restarted him in his education helping him to finally get a degree and a full time job of which he had had no prospects whatsoever when she made that decision to look after him. She was there for everyone – always strong in her faith. When her knees gave way and she just carried on. She had skin melanoma and had to avoid the sun and so she did. She had a heart attack –“just one of those things” she said. She recovered and got on with life. I sent her cards from all of my travels around the world and she sent me the most beautifully written letters in return. I had often thought of recording an interview with Mary to learn and be able to share more about how she just got on with life even when life was confined to sitting in her large leather armchair surrounded by photos of her family and mine.. and her books and papers. It just somehow never seemed appropriate. She had in abundance those qualities that I and so many others aspire to and never attain. She had another heart attack and said it was scary not being able to breathe but she knew that her time was coming and so be it. One month ago I had another of her long beautifully written and expressive letters. I kept them all – this one is still on my desk. Then two weeks ago her son called. I rarely answer my mobile and few people have the number. Unusually I answered this call. I knew what he was going to say. Like my Mum she chose a Sunday morning to close her life. She was 94. If there is a heaven she is surely there and maybe now it is her turn to be looked after but if I know Mary …

I was blessed to have her in my life.