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At the Still Point

At the still point of the turning world there the dance is.  And without the point, that still point, there would be no dance. And there is only the dance.

T. S. Eliot

I unashamedly cheat a little this month by including a section from another article. Early in January I broke my wrist and a bone in my back and I am still struggling to type easily and freely.  And therein lies some of the learning for me. At the point of my accident I had to (and I am aware of the significance of the had to) give up control and freedom to do what I wanted. I was forced to be still.  And I discovered in that stillness qualities in others and learning that I would otherwise have missed.  I discovered just how much care and love others and in this case the ambulance and hospital staff have to give that if I had been able to manage myself I would have missed.  I had also been exploring in my thinking in days prior to the accident just how life might have been different especially for my sons if I had been a less independent Mum.  And my dependence and stillness in this moment opened the door to my eldest son (who was on the eve of entering the Marines) to show me his feelings too. 

The temptation with NLP has often been for me to apply it to myself to be so very independent when sometimes the greatest skill lies in our ability to do nothing and to open ourselves to what might unfold. (I am reminded of something that Richard Bandler said It requires as much if not more skill to walk through a room unnoticed as it does to draw attention to oneself) And here is the special place for modelling to be at that point when we love ourselves enough to be authentically and truly who we are in the present, and to stay there to let ourselves be open to what others have to give us.

It is this quality of selflessness that is at the still point where we have agenda, no drives, no anxieties or self-consciousness that form requires the greatest sacrifice of all. 

I quote from an article sent to me this week by one of my Master Practitioner delegates in connection with all that we are learning about what really makes a difference in the process of modelling.  In this Tim Sanders refers to a quote by Milton Myeroff that I offer as one of the most elegant definitions of modelling and its importance in all that is happening in the world today.

Love is the Killer

The most powerful force in business isnt greed, fear, or even the raw energy of unbridled competition.  The most powerful force in business is love. Its what will help your company grow and become stronger.  Its what will propel your career forward.  Its what will give you a sense of meaning and satisfaction in your work, which will help you do your best work. 

I know what you are thinking.  The world is still reeling in disgust at the murderous events of September 11 and still trying to come to terms with a war against a stateless enemy.  Companies in almost every industry are closing operations, cutting people, and taking whatever tough stops are necessary to stay alive.  Your colleagues are anxious about their careers, worried about the future.  And Im here to convince you that what the business world needs now is love?

Now more that ever.  The most profound transformation in business a transformation made more urgent, not less so, by the calamitous events in New York and Washington DC is the downfall of the barracudas, sharks and piranhas and the ascendancy of nice, smart people with a passion for what they do.   Forget about the Internet for a moment.  Forget about Wall Street and the Fed. Whats really different about the economy is that lousy guys finish last.

There are two tough-minded reasons for this soft-hearted reality.  The first is the abundance of choice in business choice of products, schools, media and career paths.  Choice spells doom for villains.  At a time when more of us have more options than ever, theres no need to put up with a product or service that doesnt deliver, a company that we dont like or a boss whom we dont respect.  The second reason is what I call the new telegraph.  Its almost impossible for a shoddy product, a noxious company or a crummy person to keep its, his or her sad reality a secret anymore.  There are too many highly opinionated and well-informed people with access to email, instant messaging and the Web.

The bottom line: If you dont like certain people, its easier than ever to escape them.  If you are a lousy person, its harder than ever to keep people around you.  Hence, the power of love.  What do I mean by love?  the best general definition that Ive read comes from philosopher Milton Mayeroffs brilliant book, On Caring.  Love, he writes, is the selfless promotion of the growth of the other.  When you help others grow to become the best people that they can be, you are being loving and as a result, you grow.

Tim Sanders, Yahoo Senior Executive