Dave Nyss
Well “The Week” was not the end… the amazing experience has carried on. as ever there is so much I would like to share with you but i dont have enough space in my day today. I am just taking a pause from having had some fun… going outside on impulse - throwing a snowball at my neighbour Mark and his son Josh… and getting loads of snowballs thrown at me in return. Staying with that moment and building a snowman together despite my hands being cold from picking up so much snow… and whilst we are building the snowman my youngest daughter Molly arriving home from a sleep over with her friend last night and running across to me with the biggest warmest hug… how I have missed hugs from her.
what difference did last week make to me? this morning I noticed that, "in my words"…
- my wife communicates using external “internal auditory”, she says what she thinks and poses questions into the air. So I try some of that. Just before heading to costa I decide what shoes I'm going to wear but I still say "there's lot of snow out there, wonder what shoes I shall where?", she replies and I say a few more things and we chat on heading down to costa in a good state. I release that my wife talks externally when she is thinking about decisions and making sense of the world. Before "The Week" I think I recognised the internal dialogue and either responded to her inside my head or made an unconscious decision not to respond as it didnt sound like she was talking to me. So now I believe my wife is always talking to me… when I hear her I will give her my attention and respond in an external way. The difference in rapport this morning was… well amazing.
- at costa in waitrose my wife asks me what we should have for lunch… I dont know, I dont think I care… so I express it in a way so she understands that I dont really care and that I will be happy with her choice. She seems unsure… so I realise (by inner feeling) I need to join in the decision making… after a few suggests we narrow it down to quiche and salad, and we finally need to decide whether to make the quiche or buy waitrose. How did I made the decision? shop brought came to mind first, visualised sally sitting down reading with time saved from cooking then home cooked, remembered amazing feelings I had from Spence's home cooking - looks like a tie, then I remembered how Sally likes cooking, likes the attention and feels good when people enjoy her cooking; thats 1:2, so I suggest a preference for home cooking, Sally agrees instantly so maybe she was thinking that along. I seem to be aware of these structures at the time… amazing.
Any lingering worries I had that “I am not sure about NLP, wouldn't be able to use in life” and that I might be a “normal person” again after TheWeek have disappeared… the way I experience life has changed forever